1 Uncomfortable Sign You’re Growing as a Person

In a prior episodes, I talked about how to get a growth mindset by investing in yourself, and have also talked about being stuck on the hamster wheel of life.

On this Unstoppable Sunday, I asked myself, how can we identify if you’re growing? — because life gets busy and days go by and we may be stagnating and not even know it.

In this episode (video above), I teach you this one simple trick I use to gauge if I’m growing. I ask myself… am I scared? I talk through the three BIG times I was scared in the past 18 months, and what I did to push myself and grow.

It’s no secret. I constantly want to be growing every day. I want to become a better version of myself every day. But so often in life, we get stuck, and we forget about that mantra. Between travel, holidays, job, family… it’s easy to fall back into what I call the hamster wheel of life — where you stop growing.

Until… I developed this one benchmark. I started asking myself when was the last time I was just SCARED. When was the last time I felt “OMG GOD.. I have no idea what I’m doing….” When was the last time I felt “I must be the dumbest person in the room?!”

In the past 18 months, I’ve had to move to London to run our entire European operations, I’ve had to move to Sydney to run our Australian operations, and I’ve even had to get on stage in front of FIVE THOUSAND people to give a keynote.

In each of these cases, I was SCARED SHITLESS.

I knew I was over my head, and yet in that moment I felt the most alive.

IN THOSE MOMENTS, I buckled down did what I had to succeed and knocked it out of the park, and in those moments, I GREW.

So ask yourself, when was the last time you felt scared shitless? Comment below and let me know what do you do to keep making sure you’re growing in life?

If you’re looking to take a more proactive approach to your life using strategies like this — be sure to SIGN UP for our Unstoppable Life Planning Guide by following the link below!

 

 

 

3 Ways to Invest in Yourself

We’re all taught that we should invest in life. You may be investing in the stock market, a 401k, maybe even real estate… Or maybe you’re just trying to live at this point and just can’t figure out how to even get access to investments at this point… I’ve been there…

What’s the ONE asset that consistently gives greater returns and is a relatively cheap investment to make?

You.

My mantra in life is to invest in myself above anything else. Even when I was living paycheck to paycheck, before I invested to buy a house, or buy stocks, or start a company, I always prioritized investing in things that I knew would make ME better.

I invested in myself because EVERY SINGLE DAY, I wanted to become a better version of myself.  If you think of yourself as an investment asset, much like you’d think of the stock market, or your 401k, or your house…

This is an asset that will be working for you your entire life. This is an asset that you have complete control over and you already own.

Over the years, I’ve narrowed it down to THREE consistent ways I always invest in myself first:

  1. INVEST in Books, the average CEO reads 60 books a year, best and cheapest
  2. INVEST IN Courses & Conferences, GO LEARN SOMETHING AND MEET OTHER PEOPLE THAT ARE DOING THE SAME THING > Net worth, network
  3. INVEST in Clothes, not a LOT of clothes, but a few clothes that are made with great materials and style… almost like a uniform

They say there are two kinds of people in this world.

People who have a growth mindset.

…and people who have a fixed mindset.

People with growth mindsets believe that they can change who they are and become a better version of themselves.

People with fixed mindsets point at their past failures, their perceived limitations, and put themselves into the confines of a box and limit themselves.

Growth mindset people are unstoppable.

Fixed mindset people stopped years ago.

The question becomes… how do you adopt a growth mindset?

How do you stop limiting yourself and your unlimited potential?

How do you get out of your own head and go achieve the things beyond your wildest dreams?

It’s simple. You invest in YOURSELF.

Good investments are the ones where you put in $1 and you get back $2.

Great investments are the ones where you get 10x or even 1000x returns.

In my life, I’ve consistently prioritized investing in myself. I’ve found that investing in yourself is the #1 way to get yourself to shift to a growth mindset, and achieve the things you want to achieve.

If you’re looking to take a more proactive approach to your life using strategies like this — be sure to SIGN UP for our Unstoppable Life Planning Guide by following the link below!

 

 

 

Truth or Bullshit, the Ultimate Dinner Party Game

Throughout the course of my life, I’ve lived in Dhaka, Bangladesh, New York City, Upstate New York, Connecticut, and California.

If there’s one thing I got REALLY good at — its to make new friends in new cities, new situations, and new industries.

On my last episode, I talked about how dinner parties with 6 to 8 people can be the killer way to unlock and grow your network

But what do you DO once you’ve got all these people together? How do you make sure you don’t end up with a BORING dinner party?

Here’s a game I invented to rock any dinner party…

I don’t know about you… but this is when the FEAR sets in…

What if they don’t show up?!

Even worse, what if they do and it’s CRICKETS!

What if it’s a boring dinner party?

What are we even going to talk about!?

If you’re extroverted, and naturally the life of the party, you’re probably going to be fine…

I’m a pretty outgoing guy and I’ve gone into dinners without a plan — and some of them went OKAY

But not GREAT

Thats until I decided to get proactive about it and created a the truth or bullshit game

..it changed everything

.. people started going away from my dinners becoming best friends

The truth or bullshit game is simple.

Everyone on the table gets a tent card like this

On one side it says truth

On the other it says BULLSHIT

I got these printed but you can make them at home with a simple index card, just fold it in half and write with a magic marker like this

…so you’re at your dinner party

..everyone is a couple of drinks in (wait for a couple of drinks)

And then I as the moderator kick it off.

This is the important part… You as the moderator have to get a feel for the group. So it’s always great if you get everyone at the dinner to introduce themselves first; so you get to pick out some common threads that people have (same industry, same hobbies, same city, etc)

Often times, I’d have dinners with people with at least one BIG thing in common. For business dinners it’s easy, there’s an industry in common. For friends, I find people in similar fields, or similar hobbies, or similar values…

This game consistently brings people together, helps them connect deeply in their values, and creates memorable experiences. What’re you waiting for? Throw that dinner, and then start the game.

If you’re looking to take a more proactive approach to your life using strategies like this — be sure to SIGN UP for our Unstoppable Life Planning Guide by following the link below!

 

 

 

Making Friends in Your 20s and 30s

Throughout the course of my life, I’ve lived in Dhaka, Bangladesh, New York City, Upstate New York, Connecticut, and California.

If there’s one thing I got REALLY good at — its to make new friends in new cities, new situations, and new industries. How? Here’s the one trick I use…

Firstly, let’s talk about why this is important. In a prior episode, we talked about how your network is your net worth. Meaning, the friends you make, the average of the 5 people you spend time with, and the 100 people you keep in close contact with — makes up your net worth.

But as we go through our 20s, whether it is going to a new school, or as we start new jobs, and ESPECIALLY in our 30s, it always becomes harder and harder to make new friends and break into social circles.

If you want to live a proactive life where you have control over your time… Building financial independence is extremely important… How many bank accounts do you have? How are you managing your money? What’re you doing to be more proactive in your life?

Making new friends SOUNDS easy. You just go up to new people, try new things, and say hi right?

The thing is even if you have a great time hanging out, it always becomes SO damn hard to continue to hang out, and to build a real connection or friendship. This becomes even MORE true as you go into your late 20s and through your 30s.

BUT… your network is your net worth, and there’s only so many Saturday nights you can spend at home watching Netflix. And if its particularly your business network, it becomes even more important to make new friendships and connections outside of meetings.

It finally came together for me when a friend taught me this one simple trick. I started hosting dinners. And for these dinners, I invented this game called Truth Vs. Bullshit (more on this in the later episode).

Sharing a meal, breaking bread, experiencing great and memorable food together is one of the best ways to forge new relationships.

Here’s my 3 simple steps for doing it.

  • Step 1: Find a place where you can host a dinner for 6 people
  • Step 2: Invite 3 people to a dinner that works for all of them
  • Step 3: Ask those 3 people that they can bring a friend (not a plus one)
  • Step 4: This way, you’ll get about 6 to 8 people together
  • Step 5: As you get the dinner going, set an intention. Be up front! Tell them you think they’re all cool people and thought it’d be great to get everyone to meet and share a meal

…in the next episode, I’ll tell you about this game I invented called Truth or Bullshit that makes ANY of these dinner parties amazing and memorable.

This simple dinner trick has never let me down. It takes a bit of courage to get started — but once you do — it leads to making lifelong friends…

If you’re looking to take a more proactive approach to your life using strategies like this — be sure to SIGN UP for our Unstoppable Life Planning Guide by following the link below!

 

 

 

How I Plan My Day for Maximum Impact

What’s the one thing you do to make sure you get the MOST out of your day? For me, I always did the standard things: meditation, breakfast, avoiding my phone…

But there’s this ONE thing that completely CHANGED the amount of productivity I get out of every day…

I like the get the MOST out of every single day. And because of that, I obsess over how to run my day better. I follow all the advice that people give you around productivity.

(Check) I wake up early in the morning.
(Check) I’ve got TO-DO lists structured a certain way
(Check) I’m maniacal about my calendar
(Check) I don’t check my phone during the first 30 minutes of waking up
(Check) I even eat a healthy breakfast

But EVEN with all those things I would still come home and have the feeling of — did I do enough?

Am I just on the hamster wheel?

Did TODAY matter?!

And that’s what this blog is all about right. How do we live a PROACTIVE life and accomplish our biggest goals?

I constantly struggled with this until I discovered this ONE trick that completely changed how I approach my days.

Along with my morning tea and breakfast (super important), I now take an index card and make a simple list of THREE big things that I want to just punch in the face today.

Forget the little TODOs, the meetings, all of it– just THREE THINGS that if I get done, I know at the end of the day, seeing these THREE things crossed off — I’ll just FEEL FRIGGIN AWESOME.

Ever since I started doing this… I started to frame my day for maximum impact. I started to evaluate every meeting and every ToDo around whether it’ll help me cross of my big 3.

And somehow, THREE always seemed to be the right number for me– because anything less didn’t feel complete, and anything more — I never got to.

So what’re you doing to PLAN your day and make every day the MOST?

If you want to live a proactive life where you have control over your time… Building financial independence is extremely important… How many bank accounts do you have? How are you managing your money? What’re you doing to be more proactive in your life?

 

 

 

How to Save Money in Your 20s and 30s

I had my first job back when I was 12 years old. And ever since I started making money from that first job, my parents used to always tell me “make sure you save your money!” We’re all told that growing up, but it wasn’t until later in my early 30s did I really figure out how to manage and save my money. Do you have a system for managing and saving money? Here’s mine…

When we’re growing our careers, it’s normal to keep count based on how much money we’re making. I learned in my 20s that just increasing your income isn’t enough… it’s also important to have a system for saving and investing. But it wasn’t until my 30s, did I really figure out the system that completely changed how I manage my money.

Before I discovered this system, I thought saving money was just about discipline and spending less.

Before I discovered this system, I thought saving money meant just doing a 401k and having a savings account.

Before I discovered this system, I thought the way to building wealth was to simply work on earning MORE.

Turns out none of those things were it. I kept making more and more, but still didn’t feel like I was scoring more.

To me, I want to live a PROACTIVE life and I want to live a life where I can do whatever I want. And so financial freedom has always been important to me.

And so when just pure discipline wasn’t working for me, I constantly looked for ways to crack this code to building wealth.

It FINALLY clicked for ME when a friend introduced me to the idea of having MULTIPLE bank accounts (instead of just a checking and savings)

You see… all through my 20s, I would have just ONE bank account. All the money would go in there, I’d move some to savings, and then I’d spend out of my checking.

But the moment when my friend introduced me to the idea of having MULTIPLE accounts, was when everything changed for me.

Instead of just earning money, and spending, I set up multiple accounts so that my money flowed systematically.

Money would come into this main account. Right after money came in, I’d automatically move a portion (based on my budget) to:

  • Savings
  • …to Investments
  • …to Travel (because it was important to me)
  • …and then to my monthly spending account
  • …and then finally, I’d pay my bills AFTER I paid myself

This meant that instead of just spending and hoping for the best, I limited myself to these specific accounts where my money got allocated and locked in, I paid myself first in the buckets that mattered to me, and most importantly, I made strides toward wealth building goals that were important to me such as investing, travel and saving for emergencies.

If you want to live a proactive life where you have control over your time… Building financial independence is extremely important… How many bank accounts do you have? How are you managing your money? What’re you doing to be more proactive in your life?

 

 

 

 

Career Advice in Your 20s and 30s

With robots, machine learning, AI, and changing economic conditions — the way you should think about your career should be drastically different than you did back when you were picking a major for college… In this episode, I talk about my TWO key principles on how to think about building your career in your 20s and 30s.

I’ve worked at a company as large as GE, I’ve worked in a 40 person startup, I’ve started, grown and sold my own company and I’ve even been an executive of a 1,500 person company at the age of 35.

Having gone through the corporate ladder, having managed large teams, and coached countless people through their career choices, here are my principles on how to think about building your career in your 20s and 30s.

Principle #1, Don’t get that “good job” in your 20s.

Don’t get that “great” job. You know what great jobs are? Great jobs are cushy jobs, jobs that pay you more than they should be paying you, and jobs that are going to get automated in the next 5 years. Great jobs are dead end jobs wrapped in shiny gift paper to make it look like you’re spending your 20s wisely. You’re not.

Instead, get a job that has a ton of grunt work. Get the job that doesn’t pay as well, doesn’t have that fancy title, but by doing that job you’re getting the experience and learning a core skill that no one can ever automate away and no one can ever take away from you.

Principle #2, Only pick jobs where you’re either CREATING or you’re SELLING

While there are SO many types of jobs out there, I think the most lucrative jobs, the future proof jobs, the jobs that will give you unlimited growth and wealth fall into two broad categories.

They’re jobs where you’re either CREATING something to add new value to the world

…or they’re jobs where you’re taking new creations and figuring out ways to SELL THEM into society

Whether it is jobs in computer engineering that create new products, or artists who create new music, or doctors who find ground breaking cures — creators are the people at the forefront of innovation and the ones that can reap the biggest rewards

And for any new creation, you’ll need an army of sellers, of marketers, or storytellers who help spread the word about new inventions. These category of jobs too are completely future proof and will always be needed

And if you just so happen to be in the intersection of these two, where you can create AND tell stories, where you can code AND do a sales pitch, then you’re just unstoppable.

In a world where we have to think about artificial intelligence, where we have to think about robots taking over repetitive jobs — there are two kinds of jobs that will be future proof, two kinds of people that will be future proof….

1) creators who can think outside the box and use human ingenuity to continue to propel us forward

And 2) sellers, story tellers, marketers, who can help inspire, connect, and spread ideas to deliver value

How are you thinking about your career growth in your 20s and 30s?

 

 

 

The Hamster Wheel of Life

If you were to take a step back and write down every single thing you did every day over the past 14 days…

How similar would every day be?

The same morning ritual of checking your phone?

The same coffee shop?

The same route to work?

The same meetings?

The same amount of time on the couch watching Netflix?

Welcome.. To the hamster wheel of life.

I was stuck like this nearly 8 years ago, and I made changes in my life that transformed everything for me.

It was 2010, and I decided to leave my 6-figure job at the largest hedge fund in the world.

I was 27, at the peak of my career, with a dream job, but I had one problem: I felt stuck. I felt stagnant. I wasn’t growing.

And most importantly, I knew that living my best life meant feeling absolutely SCARED SHITLESS once a week because that meant I WAS LIVING, I WAS GROWING…

And that wasn’t happening…
The thing is, I thought the solution to this problem was easy. It would be the NEXT project.
The NEXT promotion.
The NEXT bigger office.

That was the easy way, but the more of that I did, the more stuck I felt.

EVERY day looked the same. The same commute. The same challenges at work. The same things. Different day. And I’d come home, order sushi and watch Netflix to “recover” from the “tough” day.

I like to live a proactive life. I like to be growing. I WANT to feel fulfilled with what I’m doing and having an impact. And I knew that in order to do that, this path, this hamster wheel that I was on (even though by most people’s measure this was awesome) — wasn’t what would bring me fulfillment.

FAST FORWARD 4 years. I had quit my 6-figure job. I started my own company. I raised $20m of venture capital from the best VC firms in the world. I would walk into the office which was BUZZING with 70 people.

And it was like NARNIA every day.

EVERY DAY a different challenge. A different growth experience. A different learning. I FELT ALIVE EVERY DAY. AND EVERY DAY… WAS A DIFFERENT DAY.

Now I’m not saying you need to quit your job to get off the hamster wheel of life. In fact, quitting my job was just a small part of the process for me to figure out what was the thing that MADE ME FEEL ALIVE.

The trick was to acknowledge that I was INDEED on a hamster wheel. That 20 years from now, I’d look back and feel disappointed and ask myself — WHERE DID THE TIME GO?!

So, let me ask you… Are YOU on the hamster wheel of life?

And if so, you need to STOP, PAUSE, and REFLECT so you can figure out what it’ll take for YOU to snap out of it, and pursue a life where you FEEL ALIVE. The way that I FELT every time I entered ToutApp offices to take on a new day. Because everyone deserves that.

I’m so incredibly glad I made the changes in my life when I felt stuck now nearly 8 years ago. It has afforded me the experiences, the opportunities, the successes, and the job that I have today — which I feel excited about!

 

 

 

Do you have a Life Plan? Planning your life the Unstoppable way.

Do you have a 10 year plan? A 20 year plan? Have you sat down to think about what you want those decades of your life to look like?

I’ve been thinking A LOT about what I want to do with the next 35 years of my life – that’s kind of the type of thing you’re supposed to do with a sabbatical.And when you think deeply, the easy path doesn’t feel right, the unproven completely out of left field path feels reckless.

The one thing that you DO know is that when you hone in on your true life path, when you make decisions that optimize for what your heart truly desires, you unlock decades of success and fulfillment. So this process of figuring out what I want for the next 35 years, feels like an important thing to figure out.

Here at Unstoppable, we believe in leading a PROACTIVE life. When it comes to life plans, there are TWO plans that you actually need. You need your short term plan (this is about getting proactive about your upcoming week, the quarter, and the year) and then you need a long term “macro” plan for your life. This is the 35-year macro view.

We tend to overestimate what we can achieve in a year (which is why we tend to give up on our new year’s resolutions and short-term goals because we don’t see enough progress)  and we tend to UNDERestimate what we can do in five years.

Everyone should have an unstoppable life plan. And by the way, unstoppable doesn’t mean you’re perfect and everything goes according to plan, it means that no matter what comes your way, you stay tethered to your long term goals and always find a way forward regardless of the adversity you face in your life.

Your short term plan, which we explain how to create in our Unstoppable Life planning guide is to get proactive about your year, it teaches you how to:

  • Clearly define your goals for the year
  • Set up a system to get proactive about your calendar and your schedule
  • Set up a time so you can pause and reflect on how things are going and keep course correcting
  • And, most importantly set up an Accountability Mastermind so that you are growing with others that want to grow just like you.

But to create your long term plan, you’ve got to take a step back, zoom WAY out, and take a 35-year view of what you want out of your life. You have to ask questions like:

  • How do I want to spend my 20s?
  • How do I leverage what I do in my 20s to live my best 30s?
  • How do I manage for health, wealth, family, friends and career? And what do each of these things look like in each of the 35-years?
  • What’re the things that will make me feel FULFILLED in the long run? Vs. just reacting and doing the things that are obvious and right in front of me

Needless to say, no plan is perfect, however having no plan is a surefire way to never get what you want. When I used to work for Ray Dalio at Bridgewater, he always said, “You can have anything you want, but you can’t have everything… so you better know what you want.”

If you’re looking to get started in building a life plan for yourself that you can tether yourself to, start with our Unstoppable Life Planning Guide. And then watch this episode to start thinking about how to create a macro view for your life. Both are important. Will it be perfect? no. Is it better than having NO PLAN? Hell yes.

 

 

 

How to Start When You Feel Paralyzed

You ever get super excited about a project or a goal? But then feel completely overwhelmed about how to start taking action?

Visualizing what you want and dreaming up a goal you’re passionate about is only half the battle. What really separates the dreamers from the successful ones are the people who figure out how to EXECUTE with massive action.

Today, I want to talk about how to get started on a project when you just don’t know where to start…

The mental trick I use when facing daunting challenges is this thing I call “Just shrink it…”

Shrink the problem to the smallest parts.

Find the lowest hanging fruit.

Find the one small thing you can do to just get some action going.

Figure out what’s the one thing you can do to get a quick win.

And then find the next small thing, then the next, and little by little you’ll start to be able to get your momentum.

In order to achieve big things, you need to build massive momentum and take massive action. But we’re all human, and even for my most exciting projects, it takes quite a bit of courage, motivation, inspiration, whatever you want to call it to GET GOING.

The reality is, when you’ve got an idea, one of two things will happen. You’ll either always wonder what if — what if you took the shot and went for it, or you’ll see someone else eventually bring it into reality and you’ll be kicking yourself or grumbling “I had that idea 10 years ago…”

Getting started is often the hardest, and my mental trick of JUST SHRINK IT, gets you to take any massive challenge, look down on it, and say, alright, what’s the smallest thing I can do to just get this thing moving.

What’s the brilliant idea you’re sitting on the sidelines on? What small action can you take TODAY to get your momentum going?